When is the last time you went to a movie alone? Ate at a restaurant by yourself? Went to a social get together by yourself?   Have you ever wondered about why or how things become the social norm, what’s okay and what’s not?

Recently I spoke to a new acquaintance about the challenge of being alone and newly single . We chatted about trying to make new friends, trying new things. She said she had done several activities that are reasonable fear inducers; zip lining, public speaking to name a couple. The one that surprised her the most, was the fear of walking into a music hall to attend a dance – alone. She told me it was the only one that had her sitting  in her car for 15 minutes feeling that knot of fear and questioning whether to turn around and head home.

As teenagers, especially as young women, we were pack animals. We traveled in groups or as duos. Even the bathroom was not a trip to take alone at the bar or the dance club. Safety and security in numbers.

Benefits of flying solo

Our culture is one of pairs, of couples. To be outside of that can be lonesome and yet, there is also a great opportunity to create confidence and independence and even freedom. Go when you want, leave when you want and whatever you make of the event is largely up to you.

Whether you are part of a pair or not, there is a lot to be said to maintaining your personal likes, the ones that are uniquely yours. Life is enriched by experiences and by meeting people who share that enjoyment. What that means for you is a broadening of your life experience and a new energy. If fear is holding you back, think about what you have to gain rather than the discomfort of doing it in a new way.

It’s a big world out there and waiting for the safety of others might be holding you back. Go on, do it, I know you can.

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