Why me is a pretty reasonable question, when faced with life’s hurdles. Especially the big ones. Even though there might not be an answer, nevertheless we wonder. Silently, quietly we ponder why this situation has crossed our paths.
Life’s hurdles often mark the beginning of a spiritual quest
For some, hurdles mark the beginning of a spiritual quest. A desire born to answer the big life questions. It can also be a springboard for creating more meaning in our lives and healing old wounds. Perhaps growing into a richer and deeper person, one of substance. Someone ready and able to bend, without breaking, in life’s sometimes turbulent winds.
I accept that I will rarely know the why of something, but I will seek the lesson within it. I think my mind has always been tuned in that direction. As time has gone by, I have found authors and spiritual thinkers who have taken me further down the path.
Several years ago I was invited to attend a speech by spiritual author Rob Schwartz. His name was not a familiar one to me, but friends in my spiritual book club told me about his coming visit. I was curious to hear what he had to say. Despite my discomfort in sitting for extended periods of time, due to a back injury, I decided to attend.
Soul families, pre-birth agreements and soul lessons
His message is a simple one and yet, when you first hear it, may have you scratching your head. We might think of it as reincarnation, but he does not use that term. His journey is one in which he has come to understand the idea that each of us, after death, returns to our “soul family”. This family consists of others with whom we create contracts or agreements. We agree to mutually help in learning specific lesson(s) each soul has chosen. These could be about love, sacrifice, honesty, generosity, kindness etc.
This view appeals to me, because it helps me look at situations or challenges differently. If I chose a lesson in learning say, being cared for, then a health issue, such as a back injury gives the opportunity. The people in my life who give the care, may also be a part of the soul family. This time around they are caregiver, and perhaps next life around, the person needing the caring. The roles are very different and bring with them very different experiences.
The lesson returns at deeper levels for greater meaning
I am also of a mind that whatever lessons we have chosen to learn are not pre-determined events. Rather, I think as we learn more from the lesson we have chosen, other opportunities (hurdles) arise to teach us at a deeper level. Or, if we don’t learn the lesson, we may become stuck in a pattern of behavior and continue to attract more of the same.
Think of someone who continues to choose partners that are unsuitable for them. Perhaps someone who displays toxic behaviors or has poor boundaries. Until one of them learns better ways to be, heals their own life, each new partner is similar in some way to the last. Once the light goes on, and they overcome the hurdles that such things bring about, new opportunities arise on their path for growth and happiness.
Hurdles give us choices, though not always obvious
Once I have sunk to the depths of the feelings of the situation, then I am ready to pick myself up and review how I might make the most of this challenge. My life lessons bring me chances to decide how I choose to respond, to determine my needs, and which people and in what ways I may need their care and support.
Repeatedly, I must remind myself that using my support system, asking for help and loving myself through the situation, no matter what, are of paramount importance. Rather than retreating into shame for asking, I can feel and appreciate the strength required to do so and the love extended to me in the doing.
Whether this idea resonates for you or not, I invite you to find ways to go deeper. Enter into the question of why me and into the realm of finding the meaning contained within it. Life will hand you hurdles – people, situations and events that will rock your world. If it hasn’t yet, or not so much that you have yet to ask that question, I expect it will. If it suits you to do so, remind yourself that you are not alone and that your soul family is around you offering unseen support.
Wishing you the very best as you navigate and create your life, Frances.